Night Watch - S-prompts

S7. Choose a song, and write or draw an in-depth breakdown of how it applies to your lion and their life, story, relationship,ect . You can break it up by lines, sections, ect

[ 773 words without lyrics ] - 3 points

"Boulevard of Broken Dreams" - Green Day

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known

Akumu used to have a home, but it’s now only past tense. When she was chased away she realised that the lions she shared her life with weren’t really her family. After all, family wouldn't have abandoned her just because she stopped being useful. It was heavy truth, but she learnt to accept it.

For a while she still tried to find a new pride - friends, family, someone she could trust and someone that would care about her. To no avail. She only found pain and rejection.

Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me, and I walk alone

Ever since she was a cub she was trained to be a soldier for her pride - a huntress of both prey and predator. Her job was to provide food and protection from other clans and be the front line when her tribe made an attack on another to claim their territory. Now that she’s alone she has no goal in life. She’s good at being a huntress so that’s what she keeps pursuing, but she never felt any strong affection for it. She has simply no idea what she’d like to do with her life. She wants to be useful, wanted, but all she knows is loneliness. Therefore she continues to live the only way she knows how to - strong, independent, pointless.

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one, and I walk alone I walk alone, I walk alone
I walk alone, I walk a-

When Akumu was an adolescent and still with her old pride she was exceeding as a soldier. She performed every task with excellent results and she was the pride of her mentors. She loved the attention and praises she received. She imagined that one day she could become a leader of her own group and be a part of the elites of her clan.

All of those dreams have been shattered when she was abandoned. Everything she worked towards became unreachable. All of her training and effort thus far - pointless. She no longer tried to set any goals for herself because she does not want all of the work she puts towards reaching it to be deemed futile again. All of her fierce exterior really comes from fear of getting hurt again.

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Akumu keeps to herself, she prefers to work, sleep and spend her time alone. It’s not that she doesn’t enjoy the company of others, she will join them whenever she has to and chat and tease them like they’re old friends, but she does not form any deeper connections with them. She’s afraid of getting close and then being thrown out again, so she puts up a wall of cynicism to protect herself.

Deep inside, so deep she would never share this with anyone because she would be way too embarrassed to do so, but deep inside she wishes that her life will change. She feels lost in this world - not knowing where to go or even why. You wouldn’t be able to tell it by her exterior and the way she behaves. She does not want pity and she keeps all her feelings to herself. And yet, her heart longs for a change. For someone to break the walls she created and love her, so that even if she still won’t know what to do in life, at least she won’t be alone.

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the borderline
Of the edge and where I walk alone

Her mind is split about what she wants. On one hand Akumu is used to the life she leads now. It’s safe and comfortable. Getting close to someone would mean that she could get hurt again, thrown out and she would have to start everything all over again, including reliving the pain she felt once already. On the other hand, she knows that she could be much more happy being part of a family again, being able to trust someone and make plans for the future, instead of living in the moment, like she does now.

As a result of this, she’s often feeling on edge. She simultaneously wants to be the strong, independent lioness that she made herself out to be and to completely break that character, let herself be vulnerable, open and loving and make a family where she won’t have to constantly fear of being rejected.

Read between the lines
What's messed up, and everything's all right
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive, and I walk alone
I walk alone, I walk alone

Akumu continues living like this even though sometimes it feels more like mere existing rather than living. She’s too afraid to make the decision to listen to her heart and truly become a part of the pride. Finding an abandoned cub stirred her feelings more than anything before, but instead of accepting the cub as her own, she got scared by the possibilities that would result from it. She wasn’t ready or maybe not brave enough to open her heart. Perhaps one day this might change, but for now she continues her journey through life all on her own.