Drake's Links
Fucker.
This guy gets me. Maybe a little too fuckin’ much, actually, we only get along in small doses. Just because I understand him doesn’t mean I need to like him. Is this what I seem like to other people? Moody, brooding, an emo little fuck? Christ. But, hey, I’m taller than him. It’s the little victories.
Not so bad, but his persona makes me want to tear my hair out. How the fuck does he act so happy all the time?
Drake and I go back farther than you’d think! Met him when we were teens, and it’zzzzz been a real experience seeing him mellow out with age. Or maybe it was those court ordered anger management sessions that finally did the trick, haha! I remember I bailed him out once, right before he had those sessions, and whew! If Drake looked that bad, I wouldn’t of wanted to see the other guy. Nowadayzzzz he just lays face down on the floor miserably when stuff pisses him off. Guess three assault charges’ll do that to ya!
I’m going to rip your feet off and force you walk around on your useless little nubs if you don’t take those stupid fucking shoes off, holy shit.
Drake’s a riot! I know ‘em through Toby, and I don’t think he likes me very much. Er at least, he ain’t a fan of my shoes! Everytime I take a step around ‘em his eye twitches. These’re my favorite pair! I ain’t wearin’ nothin’ else! Cause they’re my only pair.
I don’t care about Ricky. The feeling is probably mutual.
This guy seems like a strong and silent type, he comes in sometimes when his contractor needs to rent a guitar. I’ve learned my lesson from Gutterbird though, don’t lean down to talk to little monster people. He looks like he’d headbutt me, too, if I did that.
I avoid this pink bitch at all costs. Whenever he spots me he makes a fucking beeline toward me to pet me, so walking downtown feels like a fucking stealth mission. Horror game shit.
Such an angry aura! He’d be frightening, if he weren’t so... small!! Ooouuuhhh, you’re so cute, c’mere and let me pinch your cheeks, handsome!!!
I also don’t care about Blitzen. He looks like a marshmallow.
I feel like this guy frowned so much as a kid his face is just stuck like that, I’ve never seen him making a different expression. Hope you can get that treated 💞
Ew. Don’t tell me what to do.
Oh, my. Another teeth clenching monster? Unlike Gutterbird, your teeth are forever. Unclench your jaw.
Why Are You The Way That You Are.
Sure, Drake looks all mean and scary, but when you peel away all those ugly angry layers; he’s still mean, but at least he isn’t scary! Ha!
Mousy, reserved. Also looks like a marshmallow. Why do so many fuckers in this town look like they’d make squeaky toy noises?
I-I don’t like the look o-of-! Of... this guy... hhnnnmm... He looks like he’s gonna... ch-chew me up and spi-i-it me out!
Ohhhh, a robot. Wooooow, how cool. I don’t fucking care. Sol is whatever, but I’m not impressed by him just because he’s a Nokia phone that can stand up or some shit.
What a tool! Seek therapy.
Jeremy is nice or some shit. He goes out of his way to talk to me, which is kind or whatever the fuck, but I have places to be. Like home, to lay face down on the kitchen floor.
So gruff! I don’t see Drake too often, I guess he’s got a job that requires a lot of travel. Whenever I do see him, though, I always make sure to spark up a conversation! You never know when someone might be in need of a random act of kindness.