Koa

P I N E A P P L E   M A N

Species: False gharial (Tomistoma schlegelii)

Age: 22

Birthday: June 13

Gender: Male

Pronouns: he / him

Sexuality: Gay

Physical Description 

• Lanky and slouchy
• Always got that mohawk going
• His teeth just go everywhere
• Tends to melt all over anything he's sitting on, always looks like he's comfy
• Usually has this serene half-lidded smile
• He sounds like a stereotypical surfer dude, or maybe a stereotypical stoner dude
  • "Duuuuuuuuude."
  • "Nah man, it's chill."
  • "Just be cool, my guy."

Personality 

• Chillest guy alive, instantly mellows out everyone around him
• Laid-back and easygoing
• Willing to try pretty much anything
  • That doesn't mean he'll like pretty much everything, just that he tends to make a lot of questionable decisions
• Has a good grasp on what is and isn't that big a deal
• Refuses to be fazed by anything relatively unimportant
• Calls everyone "dude," and everything he likes is "chill"
• As soon as you get to know him you realize he's super gay
• He lives for dick jokes
  • He'll randomly start giggling because the first verse of "Slob on my Knob" just popped into his head
  • Just the thought of a dildo makes him snicker because all he can think of is how floppy it is
  • etc. etc. he's secretly thirteen

Likes 

• Rotguts
  • The way he gets even cuter as soon as he gets nervous
  • Every time he manages to do something "ultra risqué" (read: cuddle with Koa) and then gets giggly because he did a thing
  • How soft and warm and clingy he is
• Rollerblading
• Painting abstract art
• Neon colors
• 80's aesthetics
• Watching rain fall

Dislikes 

• People trying way too hard to get attention
• Getting rained on

• Tacky tourist shops are his entire aesthetic
  • Think Alvin's Island - dime-a-dozen stores with LIVE SHARKS written in neon in the window, under a million different names but all containing the exact same inventory, accounting for at least 50% of all the buildings in a tourist town
• Truffle's teaching him how to pole dance so he can be the glamorous gay he always knew he was
  • But first he needs some legs
• Doesn't know how to surf, but wants to learn
• He was into comics as a kid, and in fact his first fictional character crush (though he didn't realize it at the time) was a Rob Liefeld character named Shaft
  • And if that doesn't tell you everything you need to know about him as a person then I don't know what else to say
  • Speaking of Rob Liefeld, Koa calls him his "artistic muse," and nobody really knows if he's joking
• People tend to assume he's a stoner, but he's not
• He's been appearing in more and more of Rotguts's YouTube videos since they started dating; the channel's devolved from a screamy teenager screaming about games to a couple of dorks giggling about nothing in particular
• His drag queen persona's name is Piña Grigio, because nobody should ever trust Koa to name anything
• He reminds people of a pineapple

Brief Backstory 

• Has a lot (no, really, a lot) of stories to tell involving him trying something stupid and outlandish without really knowing what he was getting into
  • Like when he had sex for the very first time, which happened because two people he knew (a guy and a girl) approached him like "hey wanna have a threesome" and he was like lol ok
    • That was how he discovered he was "bi" (read: gay in denial)
  • Or that time that he got into his first "serious relationship" (with a girl, mind you, which was ok because he was pretty sure he was bi) because she approached him like "hey i always thought you were pretty cute, wanna go out" and he was like lol ok
    • And then that lasted all of two weeks before he realized he was gay while watching porn
  • Or that time he ended up starring in a porno for an art school project and somehow pulled off a good grade in that class
    • The group he was in marketed it to the professor as a deconstruction of the porn industry when really they all just wanted to see if they could get away with it (and Koa just wanted to get with this one guy)
  • Or how he has a closet half full of sex toys in his apartment because he just buys them on a whim to try out, and he doesn't even want to get rid of the ones he's not into because what if he changes his mind later??
    • "Koa, why do you have thirty-two collars???"
• It's all good tho, because he's comfortable with his mistakes and likes laughing about them with people
• Moved to the area at least partially to escape from the memories and people that remind him of his last relationship, which went down in flames
  • It wasn't his fault, but it's still pretty rough to think about
  • He's definitely going to need a little more time to move on before he can laugh about that mistake

Trivia 

• Theme song: "Slow Down," by Poolside
• Before I gave him a personality, or even a name, he existed for the longest time as a giant sticker on the cover of one of my sketchbooks.  

Date of Creation / Adoption: June 13, 2017