kuyalion's Links
LATEST 5 INTERNET SEARCHES
1. "donut shops near me"
2. "donut delivery"
3. "gene beauregarde blueberry candy"
4. "feeding chair"
5. "how to remove bang flag from pistol"
I don’t really get it, but Pyth calls you bloatware, he knows about these things, so I encourage Hugh to avoid using you!
LATEST 5 INTERNET SEARCHES
1. "how much did wolfing down wall street make"
2. "i want to get better at deep breathing"
3. "play sudoku free"
4. "theta wolf actor"
5. "mens fashion for large bodys"
LATEST 5 INTERNET SEARCHES
1. "download cloud cover incognito browser"
2. "expansionmansion.toon"
3. "swordrealms patch notes"
4. "blueberry pie experiment gone wrong video"
5. "uninstall cloud dotcomm"
“Stick to the script?… hmm how about a stick of gum?”
“Hey, friendo! Can I get a Blueberry Candy? … oh, it’s not for me, my buddy over there’s a HUGE fan!”
Through my journey for more [DATA] I had encountered a backdoor to a little birds nest, the bird named Cloud, his colour as vivid as [Hex = #87CEEB]. At first was wary of my presence, but after seeing my [FILE CAPACITY], we [FRIEND REQUEST ACCEPTED] and told me of his own dreams of becoming as big as the [Object = #87CEEB], I offered it a [REDACTED] in exchange for a [SAVE POINT] to exchange [DATA]. Content with our file exchange the little bird took flight, Cloud archiving its [CLOUDS] and becoming just as big as [Object = #87CEEB], Clouds variables increased to the point of [STACK OVERFLOW] and it soon came crashing down due to [GRAVITY].
Cloud seemed despondent of the [STACK OVERFLOW] wishing for a larger [FILE CAPACITY] of his own. This left me with feelings of [REDACTED] and a desire to [REDACTED] and [REDACTED] with Cloud.
I will continue to exchange information with Cloud in the hopes of creating an [INFINITE RECURSION] which will result in [<3] where we need not worry about [STACK OVERFLOW]
“I detected Proxy the first time they bypassed the firewall into my meta verse. Fortunately, Proxy was a compatible operating system for me to interface with. Proxy’s data storage capacity far exceeds my own, and I wish to download their file compression algorithm. From our interactions, I was able to teach Proxy about the variables of [Gravity], and [ERROR Variable Not Found]. Networking our processes with each other, we both discovered a new variable: [<3]”
I suppose this is a mirror into my future? I see a more modern world, with new friends, I seem very happy in this place, and it seems I now work for a noble? Two nobles? Perhaps kings? They seem to have the wealth of a King, but do not wear a crown... Curious. I see no sign of Kristina, or Tommen, Luxford or Ignus? I hope they are okay!
Diana is a lovely model for my female range of attire. Whilst I generally specialize in men's fashion, that does not mean I stray away from the female figure, and she does have the perfect figure. I do wish she would stop talking about her bloated glutton of an Ex-Husband. It's none of my business how greedy it is. And how much food he wolves down. I don't need to hear about him living such a selfish lifestyle, its unhealthy.
“Oh yeah, I’ve collaborated with Grey before. I posed with a few of his male models for his ‘Faux Fashion’ magazine. After the shoot, Grey and I went out for coffee, and we were laughing about my ex-husband being a fat disgusting pig! Like, I talked for hours about how much of a greedy black hole Hugh was, and Grey was laughing so hard he literally CRIED!”
I met Hugh when I was at a cross-roads in my life. I had finally managed to... err, 'quit' my old "toxic work environment" Which was my first step to being my own Wolf. While I was happy, a part of me still missed being shown a set path, everything was uncertain. Hugh said he saw my potential and wanted to make me into a star. At first I was just going along for the ride, but the more Hugh showed me my potential, the more I wanted to grow to impress him.
Hugh introduced me to wonders of high class and I only desire to grow to new heights and wealth with Hugh.
“Theta is my enchanting apprentice! When we first met, I knew Theta was destined to be my biggest, brightest shining star! Such classic appeal! A bold silhouette! And such dedication to my ‘Wolfing Down Wall Street’ film! It would be life’s greatest pleasure if we could continue growing closer as well-rounded gentlemen.”
If I had a proper 'copy' of myself, we could both create and test our creations at the same time, that would be grand. Sometimes it would be nice to have someone cook for me, for once. -sigh-
“I’m still a handsome dragon, I don’t even look a day over 800!”
"Sir you've been working so hard lately, you should at least take a snack break, open wide"
“Ah, my Candy Kobolds are such good little lads! Always working, patrolling, stealing… and rehearsing my song and dance numbers! They’re all so sweet and tasty too!”
"He ruined me!!! I was told in good faith that his products were safe for consumption, Normal candy doesn't make you feel funny, and blow up like a balloon... no like a blueberry. Why would he think that it was a good idea, why would he think that people would love being round, why would he do this to me? It took them 2 whole hours to get me back to normal. I have... nightmares about that day, where instead I blow up, or I never stop growing with him taunting me as I helplessly flail at his mercy...
I uh... I hate it"
“He RUINED me!!! I’ll never forget all of Grey Faux’s lies printed in the newspapers! I’ll never forget the face he had after eating my blueberry candy! Grey Faux keeps me up at night… perhaps he deserves his ‘just desserts’ after all these years.”
"I've heard of these weirdos who find joy in 'that incident' as well as people of larger figures. Its unhealthy. Of course this blue round uuuh... thing, would be asking about my experiences after cursed dragons candy. I don't need to be reminded of that experience, I don't want to think about being so ridiculously round and helpless, worried about if I was going to burst. Who would ever want to be in that predicament!?"
“Grey was a victim of Gene Beauregarde’s experimental candy. I contacted Grey and asked him about the ‘blueberry incident’. Grey was… uncooperative. Just very rude and he didn’t respond to my questions. He BLEW UP on me! It’s important detective work! I’m NOT being weird about it, HE’S the one being weird about it!”
Hey, I remember her! I remember her being so frightened of me when we first met. What's her name again Jamie? Jackie? Jimmy? Whatever... I remember Hugh talking about how she's like Ella's Grandkid or something. Apparently she got conned into signing a contract to run a failing business? Poor little string bean, Hope she's doing well!
“I heard Theta’s starring in a movie! I met him BEFORE he was famous! He used to be more muscle-y and scary!”
I actually knew Cherri when we were young pups. Her family ran a Tavern in the heart of White Ridge. Cherri, Ignus and I would play together whilst my father would go for a meal and mead after a long day's work.
When we got older, she took over the Tavern. she had a talent for cooking, as the Tavern was so well received by the townsfolk, sometimes nobles would dress down as commoners just to experience her cooking.
Sadly she was killed in an attack on the city. I regret that I was too weak to protect her. I broke my promise to her to always keep her safe. I would do anything to see her again.
Ah poor Cherri, I do miss her, I only wish I could of kept her safe. After teaming up with Tommen and Ignus, they introduced her to me and her Tavern. Whilst I do not have the same history with her as Tommen and Ignus, I would consider her as close as my own sister. Ignus, Tommen, Kristina and I, and even Vulcan have sworn to get vengeance on the monster responsible for taking her too early from this world.
Cherri was my closest friend, when the tavern would close for the evening, the boys full of Cherri's wonderful food and mead, they would take their leave and we would spend the late evenings talking. We would talk about our past, what we did that day, and our aspirations for the future. We would be able to confide in each other about things we couldn't dare talk to the boys about.
She was also the only one, other than my brother who knows of my 'abilities' Not even my husband Ignus knows... Its not that I haven't told him, but due to the nature of my ability, even if I were to tell someone about it, when I use it, they would later forget. But not Cherri, she somehow always remembered. Whenever I would stray from my senses, she would be the one that would ground me back to reality.
But my power was not enough to save her on that awful day. I am not a lady of faith, but I pray that she lives well in her next life, and I promise to her on my last breath I will be sure to make those responsible pay for taking my dear friend... no sister away from us.
I knew Cherri since childhood. With Tommen, the three of us would play together whenever our parents would meet at our families Tavern. Tommen and I would always pretend we were going off on adventures and Cherri would like to pretend to be the person who needed rescuing. Or she would be the nurse or doctor that would heal us when we were injured in battle. More often she would be more interested in nursing Tommen. Haha.
I remember her once saying whenever we asked why she didn't want to play as a fellow adventurer, she said "Adventurers need a place to go to at the end of their quest, to relax and talk about their epic adventures, I want to be the one that listens to those stories and gives them that place to recover, with food and drink. Just like how my parents do now."
Tommen and I, then swore an oath that we would be the ones that would not only protect that place but would be the ones to always be there to talk about our real adventures when we grew up.
But we couldn't even do that. Tommen and I had been through so much, and even much more when Luxford and later Kristina and Vulcan would join us, but we couldn't keep that simple promise.
Hugh would often call our Police department over the most mundane of things, especially around 6pm. We can't exactly turn down his requests especially when most of the departments funding is out of his pocket. So to let my men and women do their jobs, I offered to be his personal security guard, for an exorbitant amount of course (which is probably pocket change to him)
He already has the most state of the art security systems in place, I don't even have to do anything, I just lounge about, Hugh insisting on ensuring my security room is well stocked with goodies, like my favorite doughnuts amongst other things, I'm not one to turn down his generous hospitality. He insists I work for him full time, but I do have another job which I can't disclose as its part of an uuuh "ongoing investigation."
“I feel much safer when Officer Sigwald is patrolling my property. It’s unfortunate that he cannot work for me full-time. I wonder where he goes off to? No matter, his absence leaves more doughnuts for me.”
Cherri is the one that at Hugh's request will bring me all sorts of nice things to eat during my shift, I'm honestly impressed at both how well and how much food she is able to cook. I worry that if there ever is an incident I'd be so stuffed from her delightful cooking that I wouldn't be able to chase any intruders. But that shouldn't happen... probably.
“Officer Sigwald works as a part-time security guard for my boss. I think Torin’s the only one who likes doughnuts more than him too! I wonder… how does Torin chase down burglars at the size he’s at?”
Gene is part of my "Ongoing Investigation" In exchange for a "Commission" if you will, I don't disclose his location to the public. What its not bribery, its um... part of the investigation process, yeah! I need to have enough evidence to arrest him, and each day he makes a compelling case and I just can't seem to find any just cause to turn him in, if anything, he needs to show me more to his side of the story, I might be even compelled to fully advocate for his case.
If I could sit on that chair all day and night I would... oh err... also his Dough-bolds are also a brilliant creation.
“Officer Torin Sigwald is my part-time guard dog! He’s paid entirely in doughnuts, exclusively served from one of my… meal chairs. The Candy Kobolds liked him so much that I had to create a fleet of ‘Dough-Bolds’ for Torin to boss around.”
I never thought that reincarnation was actually a thing. I remember reading however that usually the God or Goddess that you meet is more... um attractive?
"You're not from around here, are ya? Are you lost? Don't worry, just "stick to the script" and you'll do fine!"
I caught Wayne snooping around in my bosses work place. Its a complicated story, but we somehow ended up becoming good friends. He told me that he travels to other worlds, I have to find out how.
"Cherri has a phenomenal taste in anime! I wish we could marathon all of "Peachy Strawberry Nurse, Oh My!" together one day..."