Gene Beauregarde's Links
"I've been hiding for so long that a little online community is obsessed with finding me. Out of everyone in this hide-and-seek game, Bluey has been the closest..."
"It's my life's mission to track down Gene Beauregarde and bring him to justice! We'll see who gets their just desserts!"
"You displayed a valiant effort, Ella. Unfortunately, your cute goofs and jokes were no match for my Secret Weapon."
"The EPS found his hideaway in Germany, but Gene was the one criminal who got away. Poor Madison had to be rolled to the hospital..."
"You thought you were so clever, hm? Didn't your mother teach you not to take sweets without asking?"
"Oooooghh... I tried to disarm his Secret Weapon with my tongue and... I don't wanna talk about it. Eating anything blueberry-flavoured makes me violently ill."
"Dr. Hans Sans Panzer was a flying nuisance. I've heard about his disastrous 'Deus Ex Machina' project. I'm thankful that I only disfigured five customers instead of what he did to those poor agents."
"Zhere's no doubt in my mind zhat Gene's candy experiment vasn't an accident. He's a sick-minded old geezer. If he didn't incapacitate Madison, I vould have put him behind bars!"
"Ella Pawman and her agents tried so hard to find me. They found my warehouse in Germany... but that encounter went a little 'pear-shaped'. Ha ha! They haven't tried since!"
"Ella? Is that you? It's been so long! You look so much younger!"
"Gene did WHAT? Are you sure? But... he looks like a nice old guy! They always have candies!"
"Interesting... I sense powerful dragon magic in this one."
"This old fart's dumb candy experiment is the reason parents had to comb through Halloween treat bags every year! Thanks for making childhood worse, jerk!"
"Are you from that internet message board that's obsessed with me? No? You certainly look like one of them..."
"There's a bunch of weirdos who post about Gene on this one website. I've seen a LOT of strange stuff on the internet, the less said about the 'EMT' message boards, the better."
"The news sensationalized everything and RUINED me!!! It was an accident! I am not a criminal!"
"Gene Beauregarde made worldwide news back in 1972! One of the most gosh-darned strangest news segments ever, right up there with the exploded whale."
"Mr. Forric is a curious man. My Candy Kobolds have watched some of his films and have noticed a particular... running theme. A few 'well-rounded' scenes show up from time to time."
"Learning about the Beauregarde Candy Corporation incident was life-changing! I've dreamt about tasting one of those special blueberry candies, but they have vanished off the face of the Earth! I would pay ANYTHING for the experience."
"Isn't Diana over one-hundred years old? Humans age much faster than dragons, so she could only look like that if... oh, I see. Perhaps she's experimenting with Colourgen fluid like myself."
"Oh my GOD! I wish my ex-husband never found out about Gene Beauregarde! Hugh would never shut up about that stupid blue candy, and he tried so hard to track it down. Mental illness much?"
"Boss told me about the old dragon he fought once with Ella and Madison! His candy makes people into fruit! Then they EXPLODE!!!"
"I... uh... post about this guy on the internet a normal amount. I think my boss might be on the website too??? He has articles and videos about Gene in his archives... does Hugh know how to use a computer?"
"Ella, Madison and Dr. Panzer tried to take this guy down decades ago, but Gene got away! But, if anyone's gonna find Gene, it's my little brother Bluey!"
"Hmmm... Ella and her team failed on apprehending Gene Beauregarde and they wrote a case report about it. Had a lot of disturbing pictures of Madison's... large condition."
"You're quite the cheeky little imp. No golden tickets for pests like you!"
"Hey, friendo! How's about giving me some of those good circles to look at?"
“Officer Torin Sigwald is my part-time guard dog! He’s paid entirely in doughnuts, exclusively served from one of my… meal chairs. The Candy Kobolds liked him so much that I had to create a fleet of ‘Dough-Bolds’ for Torin to boss around.”
Gene is part of my "Ongoing Investigation" In exchange for a "Commission" if you will, I don't disclose his location to the public. What its not bribery, its um... part of the investigation process, yeah! I need to have enough evidence to arrest him, and each day he makes a compelling case and I just can't seem to find any just cause to turn him in, if anything, he needs to show me more to his side of the story, I might be even compelled to fully advocate for his case.
If I could sit on that chair all day and night I would... oh err... also his Dough-bolds are also a brilliant creation.
“He RUINED me!!! I’ll never forget all of Grey Faux’s lies printed in the newspapers! I’ll never forget the face he had after eating my blueberry candy! Grey Faux keeps me up at night… perhaps he deserves his ‘just desserts’ after all these years.”
"He ruined me!!! I was told in good faith that his products were safe for consumption, Normal candy doesn't make you feel funny, and blow up like a balloon... no like a blueberry. Why would he think that it was a good idea, why would he think that people would love being round, why would he do this to me? It took them 2 whole hours to get me back to normal. I have... nightmares about that day, where instead I blow up, or I never stop growing with him taunting me as I helplessly flail at his mercy...
I uh... I hate it"
“Ah, my Candy Kobolds are such good little lads! Always working, patrolling, stealing… and rehearsing my song and dance numbers! They’re all so sweet and tasty too!”
"Sir you've been working so hard lately, you should at least take a snack break, open wide"
“I’m still a handsome dragon, I don’t even look a day over 800!”
If I had a proper 'copy' of myself, we could both create and test our creations at the same time, that would be grand. Sometimes it would be nice to have someone cook for me, for once. -sigh-