Ijinks H. Iwerx's Links
"Jaycee's one of my favourites! She's like a precious, anxious sticky bun! Why doesn't she like me?"
"Ewww, gross! It's that weird lady again! Ijinks is always coming over to play cards with Ella and snoops through all her stuff! Ever heard of privacy? Why is Ella friends with her if all she does is get in everyone's business?"
“What’s the big idea, officer?! It was only a LITTLE bit of dynamite! A LITTLE bit of arson! Why’d you hafta throw your weight around on me? I know my rights! Where’s my lawyer?”
"Did you just try to bribe me with donuts? Wait are they those cream filled jam donuts, those are my favorite! Er, I mean, I'll be confiscating these and any more that you have on you as evidence!
"Oooh! Cat Canada's a fun one! She's got so much power and bravado hiding all her insecurity! Don't call her out on it, she'll get REALLY mad!"
"Ugh, this is that crazy scammer that everyone in Canvasville talks aboot! I thought she was in jail for arson!"
"Wayne's very friend-shaped, too bad he can't make any friends! Hey, didja know he talks to an imaginary brother when he's alone in his room? Whatta loser!"
"Yikes. Zero outta ten, would not bang."
"... well, SOMEBODY's gotta be a friend to Wayne. Thanks for being such a team player, little guy! Just... try not to kill him a second time, please?"
"When I said 'stick to the script', I only wanted you to work for Hugh Forric, NOT date him!!! How'm I supposed to have my happily ever after with him now?!"
"I know, I know, stick to the script! But do you think that the script that we have for Tuesdays could extend to Wednesday and maybe Thursday, and Friday... I'm extremely hungr... I mean, there's a lot of business that I need to attend to!"
"Ella and I have been friends for over 100 years! She's fun to play cards with... her memory loss makes it super easy to cheat!"
"Ijinks is probably the strangest human I've ever met, but there's never a dull moment when I'm around her! Hmm... Ijinks, have you gotten over that two-faced narcissist Hugh Forric yet?"
"This guy rules. Kinda sucks that he broke reality that one time 15 years ago."
"Oh ... zhis is zhat strange woman who keeps bothering Diana. If I vasn't hiding down in zhis underwater laboratory, I'd turn her into a little inky schmear on zhe pavement!"
"Don't worry about crashing into me, friendo. I'm used to getting smashed by large round dudes."
"It's the weird lady I ran into at the farmer's market! She exploded everywhere! SORRY WEIRD LADY!!!"
"I wasn't too crazy about Mr. Willows until he started campaigning to legalize marijuana. Now that he's won, snacking is at an all-time high!"
"Thanks for voting Mayor Willows!"
“Hello, Canvasville news! Top story tonight: How many of these expensive fluffy microphones can I fit in my mouth?”
“Aw heck, it’s that moist lady! Quit ruinin’ alla my broadcasts you communist!”
"Screw you, lady! If they're called 'tea bags' what ELSE are you supposed to do with them?"
"I told you before, you are permanently banned from our café! GET OUT!!!"
"Wow... you're the SECOND biggest ink-based gluttonous monster I've ever seen!"
"I wrote "STEP ON ME DADDY" on their giant robot. Hmmm... what should I write on it's butt?"
"Public Service Announcement! Citizens of Canvasville! Please do not write on things that don't belong to you! People have to work really hard to scrub it off!"
"You're not from around here, are ya? Are you lost? Don't worry, just "stick to the script" and you'll do fine!"
I never thought that reincarnation was actually a thing. I remember reading however that usually the God or Goddess that you meet is more... um attractive?
"Hey girl! Why are you in every pyramid scheme ever made? Get a real job moving boxes around at Ijinks Inkorporated!"
"This crazy woman keeps messaging me about job opportunities. NO THANK YOU! I'm perfectly fine working from home."
"NEW! Teeth whitening toothpaste from Ijinks Inkorporated! Now with 2% less birdseed!"
"I keep getting spam and junk mail from this "Ijinks H. Iwerx" psycho. When I find out who you are, I'm coming to your house! Let's settle this like men."
"Screw you, man! If it's called 'whipped cream' what ELSE are you supposed to do with it?"
"NO! You are banned from my establishment! Leave before I call the authorities!"
"I love tormenting this gang of idiots! Background characters don't have feelings, right?"
"It's a good thing background characters don't have feelings or else I'd feel REALLY bad about what Dr. Panzer did to 'em."