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"He ruined me!!! I was told in good faith that his products were safe for consumption, Normal candy doesn't make you feel funny, and blow up like a balloon... no like a blueberry. Why would he think that it was a good idea, why would he think that people would love being round, why would he do this to me? It took them 2 whole hours to get me back to normal. I have... nightmares about that day, where instead I blow up, or I never stop growing with him taunting me as I helplessly flail at his mercy...
I uh... I hate it"
“He RUINED me!!! I’ll never forget all of Grey Faux’s lies printed in the newspapers! I’ll never forget the face he had after eating my blueberry candy! Grey Faux keeps me up at night… perhaps he deserves his ‘just desserts’ after all these years.”
"I've heard of these weirdos who find joy in 'that incident' as well as people of larger figures. Its unhealthy. Of course this blue round uuuh... thing, would be asking about my experiences after cursed dragons candy. I don't need to be reminded of that experience, I don't want to think about being so ridiculously round and helpless, worried about if I was going to burst. Who would ever want to be in that predicament!?"
“Grey was a victim of Gene Beauregarde’s experimental candy. I contacted Grey and asked him about the ‘blueberry incident’. Grey was… uncooperative. Just very rude and he didn’t respond to my questions. He BLEW UP on me! It’s important detective work! I’m NOT being weird about it, HE’S the one being weird about it!”
Hey, I remember her! I remember her being so frightened of me when we first met. What's her name again Jamie? Jackie? Jimmy? Whatever... I remember Hugh talking about how she's like Ella's Grandkid or something. Apparently she got conned into signing a contract to run a failing business? Poor little string bean, Hope she's doing well!
“I heard Theta’s starring in a movie! I met him BEFORE he was famous! He used to be more muscle-y and scary!”
I actually knew Cherri when we were young pups. Her family ran a Tavern in the heart of White Ridge. Cherri, Ignus and I would play together whilst my father would go for a meal and mead after a long day's work.
When we got older, she took over the Tavern. she had a talent for cooking, as the Tavern was so well received by the townsfolk, sometimes nobles would dress down as commoners just to experience her cooking.
Sadly she was killed in an attack on the city. I regret that I was too weak to protect her. I broke my promise to her to always keep her safe. I would do anything to see her again.
Ah poor Cherri, I do miss her, I only wish I could of kept her safe. After teaming up with Tommen and Ignus, they introduced her to me and her Tavern. Whilst I do not have the same history with her as Tommen and Ignus, I would consider her as close as my own sister. Ignus, Tommen, Kristina and I, and even Vulcan have sworn to get vengeance on the monster responsible for taking her too early from this world.
Cherri was my closest friend, when the tavern would close for the evening, the boys full of Cherri's wonderful food and mead, they would take their leave and we would spend the late evenings talking. We would talk about our past, what we did that day, and our aspirations for the future. We would be able to confide in each other about things we couldn't dare talk to the boys about.
She was also the only one, other than my brother who knows of my 'abilities' Not even my husband Ignus knows... Its not that I haven't told him, but due to the nature of my ability, even if I were to tell someone about it, when I use it, they would later forget. But not Cherri, she somehow always remembered. Whenever I would stray from my senses, she would be the one that would ground me back to reality.
But my power was not enough to save her on that awful day. I am not a lady of faith, but I pray that she lives well in her next life, and I promise to her on my last breath I will be sure to make those responsible pay for taking my dear friend... no sister away from us.
I knew Cherri since childhood. With Tommen, the three of us would play together whenever our parents would meet at our families Tavern. Tommen and I would always pretend we were going off on adventures and Cherri would like to pretend to be the person who needed rescuing. Or she would be the nurse or doctor that would heal us when we were injured in battle. More often she would be more interested in nursing Tommen. Haha.
I remember her once saying whenever we asked why she didn't want to play as a fellow adventurer, she said "Adventurers need a place to go to at the end of their quest, to relax and talk about their epic adventures, I want to be the one that listens to those stories and gives them that place to recover, with food and drink. Just like how my parents do now."
Tommen and I, then swore an oath that we would be the ones that would not only protect that place but would be the ones to always be there to talk about our real adventures when we grew up.
But we couldn't even do that. Tommen and I had been through so much, and even much more when Luxford and later Kristina and Vulcan would join us, but we couldn't keep that simple promise.
Hugh would often call our Police department over the most mundane of things, especially around 6pm. We can't exactly turn down his requests especially when most of the departments funding is out of his pocket. So to let my men and women do their jobs, I offered to be his personal security guard, for an exorbitant amount of course (which is probably pocket change to him)
He already has the most state of the art security systems in place, I don't even have to do anything, I just lounge about, Hugh insisting on ensuring my security room is well stocked with goodies, like my favorite doughnuts amongst other things, I'm not one to turn down his generous hospitality. He insists I work for him full time, but I do have another job which I can't disclose as its part of an uuuh "ongoing investigation."
“I feel much safer when Officer Sigwald is patrolling my property. It’s unfortunate that he cannot work for me full-time. I wonder where he goes off to? No matter, his absence leaves more doughnuts for me.”
Cherri is the one that at Hugh's request will bring me all sorts of nice things to eat during my shift, I'm honestly impressed at both how well and how much food she is able to cook. I worry that if there ever is an incident I'd be so stuffed from her delightful cooking that I wouldn't be able to chase any intruders. But that shouldn't happen... probably.
“Officer Sigwald works as a part-time security guard for my boss. I think Torin’s the only one who likes doughnuts more than him too! I wonder… how does Torin chase down burglars at the size he’s at?”
Gene is part of my "Ongoing Investigation" In exchange for a "Commission" if you will, I don't disclose his location to the public. What its not bribery, its um... part of the investigation process, yeah! I need to have enough evidence to arrest him, and each day he makes a compelling case and I just can't seem to find any just cause to turn him in, if anything, he needs to show me more to his side of the story, I might be even compelled to fully advocate for his case.
If I could sit on that chair all day and night I would... oh err... also his Dough-bolds are also a brilliant creation.
“Officer Torin Sigwald is my part-time guard dog! He’s paid entirely in doughnuts, exclusively served from one of my… meal chairs. The Candy Kobolds liked him so much that I had to create a fleet of ‘Dough-Bolds’ for Torin to boss around.”
"Bluey never paid much attention to me... until he found out about my mishap with Gene's secret weapon. Bluey kept putting sticky notes inside my office with questions about the blueberry candy. Leave me alone!"
"Madison got to try Gene Beauregarde's blueberry candy! He's squandering such a gift. I wish I went on that mission instead of him..."
"Boss told me he worked with a dumb ugly nerd named Bluey DeLobb a long time ago! He kinda looks like me!"
"I had to ban someone for posting creepshots of his guy. I understand that it's rare to see a living inflatable toy outside of Floatilland, but that's NO excuse for breaking forum-wide rules! Still... this one's pretty big... I wonder what his capacity limit is..."
"Bluey's really quiet... but that's okay! Sometimes I want to be quiet too. Plus, I get to practice new signs!"
"I heard Jaycee temporarily stopped talking after she moved away from Sillycon Valley. Poor kid. Is that how she picked up learning sign language? I'm grateful that she can understand me!"
"When I went through JPS agent training, Bluey was in charge of the written exam. He was hella distracted... looking at pictures of circles on his tablet. What's up with THAT, eh?"
"Wow! Cat Canada is both a superhero and a JPS junior agent! I hear she can blast lake water from her hands... is the water infinite, or is there a limit? Is it drinkable?"
"Bluey does not know how to clear his internet history. Does his brothers know about what he has on his computer?"
"Wayne's a JPS junior agent, and the only one in history to get 100-percent on the written exam! But... how did he pass Redward's physical exam?"
LATEST 5 INTERNET SEARCHES
1. "How do I send a picture in an e-mail message"
2. "I want to buy flea shampoo for canines"
3. "Where can I order strawberry cream cake with edible gold leaf"
4. "Has Diana Diamondhart died yet"
5. "How do I obtain an emotional support yacht"
"Mr. Dotcomm is the helpful fellow on my computer! Like a digital butler, how quaint."
"Mr. Forric visited the Headquarters a while ago... we were so desperate for money. I had no choice but to sell our last Idea Bulb to him! He shook my hand, and I'm never washing it again! He's SO hot!!!"
"This well-rounded gentleman sold me a rare Idea Bulb! He could stand to be a little more presentable... does his species normally wear clothing?"