Song: If You Only Knew by Shinedown
If you only knew, I'd sacrifice my beating heart before I lose you
Kosa loves those around her dearly. Everyone she's managed to make some sort of connection with, which at this point is pretty much everyone in the pride except for maybe Talako. And she would give up her life for them in a heartbeat. If she had to make the choice between anyone that she cared for and herself, she would choose to save them every time. She cannot imagine a world in which her friends and loved ones don't exist, and she doesn't want to.
It's 4:03 and I can't sleep
She wouldn't be surprised if one day Bahari simply marched into her den and diagnosed her with some form of insomnia and forced her to drink some poppy seed laced tea. She loves the night time, a trait she picked up from Amoka, much to her mother's dismay. She gets her best work done in the middle of the night, when she's alone with her thoughts. However, this doesn't always lead to the best or most productive outcomes. Sometimes being surrounded by nothing but your inner consciousness is actually really bad for your mental state. Unfortunately, she'll never learn her lesson, and will continue to bother everyone and anyone by stumbling over something in the middle of the night.
Without you next to me I toss and turn like the sea
When Kosa's sleeping, she loves being surrounded by warmth and the feeling of protection. It's one of the main reasons she fell for Helios, actually. His large, fluffy mane that seems to radiate the perfect temperature for her to sleep. One of her favorite things to do is nuzzle her face into his mane and have him curl up around her. It's sickeningly adorable. That being said, it does come with some drawbacks. She has an incredibly difficult time getting to sleep without him, or someone similar to him. In those cases, she usually pulls an all nighter and hates herself in the morning. On those days, she hangs out with Bahari and Amoka in the téitheoir den, drinking as much tea as she can.
If you only knew, how many times I counted all the words that went wrong
Kosa has a horrible habit of hanging on to the past. Specifically, the negative parts. She finds it impossible to let go of, and is often plagued by thoughts that keep her up at night. When she feels as though she's wronged someone, she has difficulty expressing her emotions, and since there really isn't a therapist in the pride besides Ren, who she doesn't really feel like bothering with her problems, she's forced to bottle them all up until they explode out of her when she screams an apology in the woods when everyone's asleep. A very unhealthy coping mechanism if you asked, well, anyone, but it seems to work for her, so everyone just lets her be for the most part.
How I refuse to let you go, even when you're gone
Harking back to her tendency to not let the past die, she is not very good at letting someone out of her life. Especially when it's someone close to her. She loves everyone, and literally cannot bear the thought of them ever leaving her. She took her brother's departure especially bad. Kai was supposed to be there for her, no matter what. They promised that to each other, one night under the stars. They swore it upon their constellations. But he left, and left her behind to pick up the pieces of her broken family.
The only thing that I still believe in is you
Kosa was incredibly gullible. She put her trust in others way too quickly. And it's gotten her hurt in the past. So now, she has trust issues. She has a lot of difficulty believing anyone is telling her the truth. Which is why her falling for Helios was such a surprise, both to her and to everyone who knew her. Helios had a reputation of being a flirt and a charmer, often being able to twist his words to his advantage. But that facade sort of fell away when he knew she was there. That's how she knew he was genuine with her. Once, she snuck up on him in a conversation with Dan, who was teasing him for something or other. All she knew, was that her name was mentioned, and it created a stuttering mess. It was pretty funny, to be honest. This huge, intimidating Fire Mage, had been reduced to a blushing stuttering disaster, simply from a name. It melted her heart, and that was the moment she knew she could believe in him.
I still hold onto the letters you returned
While Kai was away, Kosa tried countless times to reach him. Of course, it never worked. She had no idea where he even was, or how to reach him. She tried sending birds, but they always returned to her, letter closed. She didn't know if he'd gotten it, but simply closed the letter and sent it back, or if it had never been opened. She tried following him, once, but she lost his trail not too far outside the prides' territory. It seemed that he'd expected someone to follow him and had taken precautionary measures to ensure that didn't happen. So she waited. And waited. And waited. And nothing ever came of it. The birds never brought back anything with them other than a midnight snack.
You help me live and learn
The lions around Kosa, both those that she's grown up with, and those that have joined the pride later in her life, have greatly influenced her personality. She gets along well with everyone in her family. Shimo makes her nervous, because he has the ability to have her exiled, and even though she hasn't done anything to warrant that, she still gets anxious whenever he's around. She and Kipepeo get along fairly well, and they grew closer after her brother's departure. Arctic enjoys picking on her and cuddling platonically in the sun. Fluji and Kallias love having her in the Cartlann Cave, and have become known as the 'history nerds' by everyone else. He would never admit it, but Talako sees her as a younger sister, they're not terribly close, but he tried to get to know her when Kai left. She and Dan love hanging around in the middle of the night, pointing at stars and naming the constellations together. Kosa was one of the first friends Sármo had when she first joined the pride, and they love talking about snakes. Kosa loves hanging with Nia and helping her make flower crowns, the two of them often have duets in the Ancient Ruins. Urania and Ayo make her feel welcome, despite the fact that she's been in the pride longer than either of them. Ren likes her appreciation of art, and they could spend hours in his den going through all of his works. And Helios. Oh Helios. He makes her feel incredible. She loves him, and she could not imagine her life without him.
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