4 Points
Song: Ashes of Eden by Breaking Benjamin
Will I miss the final warning, from the lie that I have lived?
Shimo has always been terrified that he's living life too slow, and that the world around him will leave him behind and do nothing to help him catch up. He feels as though he always needs to be doing something, and he's always fidgeting with one thing or another. He's scared that he'll eventually be forgotten, as nothing more than a distant memory in the mind of those he loved. For a time in his life, nothing felt real. Like he was just wandering the plane of reality, and that life has no purpose. He was just a drop of paint on the big universal canvas. Nothing, and nobody had any true meaning. Just some really nihilistic stuff going on in there.
I can see the soul within
When his both his parents died and he was shunned from his old pride, Shimo thought it would be a good time to do some intense soul-searching. Discover things he never knew he liked, try some new and different things. He was wandering for a while, so this was a prime time to do it. Nothing out here holding him back, it was just him and Mother Nature. A lot of this time was spent napping and lazing about, and just dreaming of his life from before. Before all this happened, before he had to leave in order to maintain his own mental health. Soon, his days of doing nothing were over, and it was about time to start his descent back down into constant fear of being too slow, and missing out on what life has to offer.
I am not worthy of this
After traveling the valley, discontented with how his life had played out up to that point, he found a peaceful stone hollow amidst the sprawling birch forest he had walked for so long. It seemed to be disconnected from the rest of the world, a wrinkle in the fabric of time, where time stood still, and didn't have as much of an impact as it was used to. Shimo decided that this would be a nice area to rest and relax, let the worries that he'd held in his mind for so long get washed away into the void. It didn't take long for him to find a small cave nestled in one of the walls. He made his home there, and set to work on trying to loosen the grip that his fears and insecurities held on his mind. But try as he might, he felt as though he didn't deserve to be in such a promising area. Shimo was, at the time, a firm believer in karma. And since he hadn't done anything, that he could remember, that would warrant such a home.
Are you with me after all? Why can't I hear you?
A while after Kipepeo found him, and decided to call the hollow her home too, he quickly became very attached to her. Nothing romantic, it had just been a while since someone was willing to be nice and listen to him. But she did. This led to a very unhealthy, almost obsession like attachment. Of course, he did all he could to not let her know, he wouldn't want to scare away the first lion to take him seriously since his parents, after all. He tried to avoid her as much as possible, because he knew that this wasn't healthy for him, and he would end up pushing her away. However, this led to him pushing her away on accident. She didn't know that he was so lonely. He felt as though no matter what he did, everything went wrong. One night, she finally got curious enough to question him. And he broke down. He told her everything, and that he was aware of how toxic he was being, and how he wishes he could stop. She curled up next to him, and promised to help in the morning.
Stay with me, don't let me go
He woke up to the soft sunlight slowly spreading into his den. He drearily untangled himself from Kipepeo, and waited for her to awake. Luckily, she's a light sleeper and it didn't take long. She brought him into her cave and made him some tea to help him calm down. She gave him some examples of stuff she did when her head was in a similar place. He listened intently, and promised her that he would certainly try them. When other lions came to join them, Shimo no longer held the same feelings towards her. That being said, the two of them were certainly closer than the others. He soon realized that the feelings that remained were certainly more than platonic. Terrified by this revelation, he tried as hard as he could to shove his feelings down. And after Talako came, and he saw that they were getting along, he knew that she would never feel the same way towards him. However, knowing that doesn't do much to quell uncontrollable feelings.
Until the Ashes of Eden fall
He knows that she will never be his, but he doesn't care. He can still admire her from afar, until he either loses interest, or until he has left this plane of reality. And he's okay with that. At least Kipepeo has found someone who makes her happy, and he knew that he could never truly do that. He was more focused on how she could help him with his mental problems. And that could certainly be quite taxing, even though she told him it was no trouble. He hopes that someday, she will come around, and eventually fall in love with him, but that's unreasonable thinking. He wants her to love him, and to always be there for him. He believes that he would at least try to do the same for her, but he can't guarantee that it would happen. After all, he is known for being quite unpredictable. That being said, one thing that he most certainly wants to happen, is that when he dies, she will be there. That they will be curled up around each other, tails intertwined, as the sun sets, both in the real world, and on his short, insignificant life.
1001/1000